Random Thoughts on the Wisdom and Ethics of my Father

For some reason I find myself thinking about my father and some isolated conversations I seem to recall from the years preceding my bar mitzvah. I think I asked about the stories of so many in the Torah who were flawed or who committed bad acts. It starts of course with Cain but includes Abraham and Moses and so many others. My father said that the point of the records reported in Jewish liturgy is that all of us are flawed. We all have shortcomings, and the point of those stories is to understand that we all fall prey to bad inclinations on occasion but that we can strive to become less flawed. The one character in Jewish liturgy who was the least flawed suffered more than most – Job. As a result, I have long been fascinated with Job and that book. What sticks with me still today is G-d’s questions (or harsh reminders) to Job: “Where were you when I created the earth and set the stars in motion?” Today that seems like G-d asking Steven Hawking what he knew about things prior to the big bang. So I managed to gain two big lessons from my father that have stayed with me all these years. First, I, like everyone else, have flaws … more than I care to admit even to myself. Second, I, like everyone else, have limited knowledge. There are things I do not know, will not know, and can never know. Given those early lessons, I decided I could not follow in my father’s footsteps and become a rabbi … I was always amazed at how well he fulfilled the many duties and obligations of being a rabbi. So, I became a wanderer … drifting from place to place and profession to profession. If one concludes that all people have flaws and limited knowledge, then how should one interact with others and how should one conduct one’s life? Accumulating wealth and words of praise seems like the wrong thing to do especially when one realizes that so many have so little and when so many others have done so many things far more remarkable than anything I can do … where is my place and what can I contribute? I find myself asking but not answering … remembering but not doing … one can be a better person … I still try on occasion to be better … mostly with my children but I have no indications of success. Well, few indications. None of my children have become mass murderers … none have been convicted of criminal behavior … all have graduate degrees … and all have been loved. What more can one ask? To paraphrase Robert Zimmerman, “may they always do for others, and let others do for them.”